Just Living Life: Change.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Change.

So I used to keep a journal, I would write in it every day and then my best friend would get a kick out of reading them. They would usually talk about the latest boy I was crushing on (in like gr. 6) or I would rant about basketball, maybe how great it was or not so great because my team lost a lot of games. However for the past few years I have ceased journaling, but I think I may pick it up again. However this one log seems to fit my last while.. I thought I would share it. I started it about 800 days ago and has been tweaked and updated according to what was going on in life but here it is...

Change.
Don't you love sometimes how fast things change?
From great to horrible-horrible to great.
One word.
One moment in time.
Change is inevitable.
It's frustrating. Annoying. Irritating.

Change.
The best thing ever. Amazing.
There is nothing like it.
How come, how can things change so fast?
It doesn't seem fair sometimes,
but doesn't it always turn to good?
I don't get it. Hate it. Love it. Live it.

Change.
I know I can't make up my mind.
But sometimes it hurts way too much.
I don't want things to change.
Why can't somethings stay the same.
The good things?

What do you do?
It doesn't seem rational sometimes.
It doesn't seem fair sometimes.
How do you cope?
"They say times heals everything
...But I'm still waiting"

So what is it about change that I don't accept.
The fact I don't want to change,
what happened was so good. Or was it just me?
I don't know.
I say I will get over it but really I don't.
I say I'll survive but really? It doesn't seem like it.
It just hurts so much deep down.
Do I confront it? Or...
Leave it and keep lying to myself.

Change for the better? I'd say so. I want so.
Good things can come from it.
From something that I hate.
Change.
The hard. The good. The bad.
I guess I can't decide what I want.
Change is inevitable.
So I'll have to like, love, live it.
Change.
It's change that keeps us going,
from good to great.
Pushing on, pushing forward.
Wether we like it. Or not.

Goodnight.

~Just a Girl

No comments:

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Prayer Requests

February 25

-this last week exhausted me, and I still have a pretty busy week ahead of me. I need strength.

-my anxiety level still climbs pretty high..getting better at calming myself down.

-I have been having terrible back pain lately--not the same as earlier this week. But its been waking me up at night and pretty bad throughout the day

January 28

-pain in my hand to go away or lessen - thank you. The pain has subsided since this day. I don't know why it came or why its not here. But it is gone for now which is nice.

-comfort and to trust in God

-anxiety; to help me calm down with school and life at times

-to continue to find the joys in life and to be thankful for the things little or not that I have.

January 23

-Clinical starts tomorrow--it could be long days. I may get fatigued fairly easy.

-I am so anxious these days and have many tests and quizzes in my classes which sky rockets my anxiety level. Sometimes it hard and creates my hand to cramp up much more often.

December 19

-I really must work this break to help pay for my expenses of next semester. However that means I must pick up a bunch of shifts. I haven't been 'on the ball' for 8 hours in a very long time. Especially when the shift goes to 2300hrs. It will be a long 5 days in a row. Strength was there..It was hard the first few hours but then once the rhythm things were better

~strength would be appreciated

~focus (I work in a mental health group home; meds, people can sometimes be draining)

~I took more than half a dose of my injection tonight and feel like I have the flu: achy, chilled, hot etc. This never changes.. I just need to remember to not inject more than half. :)

Thank you.

December 6

-Finished my first exam this morning...Most of it was alright. I believe all I needed was 40% to pass the course. 74%... I passed the course.
- I am exhausted all day everyday...yes most people are these days, but just throw in MS in the mix

-I have two more exams.. Monday and Wednesday @ 11:30am.
Then home for the holidays....

November 27

- Good sleep for tonight... and less side affects from drug... went to half dose tonight, we shall see how that goes.

Thanks!

Prayer, prayer, prayer

- I need good sleeps for these next two weeks.

- I think I am either getting sick or something, but I feel like I have just contracted the flu. (health) (Good chance I'm on Rebif-not the drug trail drug)

November 24

-this week went well for midterms, and papers :) (11/27: Passed my first midterm.. one more to go)

-I have had a strange bit of energy this week. Which is a good thing, but I have still been super tired. I think it was just really good to get some of my midterms out of the way. Despite my school going on strike.

-I have not been sleeping well these past few weeks. Waking up lots, sweaty, hot, cold, kind of all over the place. (Switched back to half a dose d/t the side affects... don't worry my nurse told me to)

Thanks again for your thoughts

November 16

Midterms are coming up...

-focus to study

-energy for throughout the days during midterms, and exam week

Thats all I can think of today.
Thanks!

~Just a Girl