And If I was stronger...

I have found a great new artist, I mean she has been around for a while but I have discovered she has more than the one song I had listened to, to death. Ingrid Michaelson- Sort Of. I love her voice and lyrics aren't all that bad either. (The title is lyrics from the song I was listening to)

But the reason for this post was to show you these two verses that I found, they are quite great and I wanted to share them with you guys..

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

-Phillipians 4:13

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

-2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Oh goodness, I have to tell you about my day, it was so wonderful- One thing that absolutely fills and warms my heart (besides a shower when I am FREEZING!) is meeting new people. My mom has been telling me when I go home for second semester that I should go and see if I can find new people to meet. But honestly I am finding it hard to make new friends when the friends I have had for so long or just became close with are leaving me or moving away. Which is hard for me because I also find it hard to make good close friends- I am super insecure when it comes to friendships/relationships. I don't really know why, but I am. So anyways I had this absolutely awesome time meeting someone new...kind of a sweet story--

Once upon a time, I decided I liked photography......(3 years later) I went on Craigslist and decided to buy a camera...(1 week later) I met the owner of my wonderful camera. Of course before I went to go meet her I had to check her out and see what she was all about. Facebook Profile. Facebook Photography Page. Website. Seemed pretty sweet...then, I saw we had mutual friends. We met. She seemed really sweet.. and I left secretly wishing we lived in the same town so we could become friends. haha Now that I write this out I sound stalker-ish. Oh well... it goes on. I then saw her Facebook Page one day and she was giving away a portrait session for free! So I had to enter my name. Hoping I would win. GUESS WHAT!?! I did! So today I met up with her in Ft. Langley. It was absolutely wonderful, we went for coffee, we laughed (for real and sometimes a little awkwardly when trying to get that 'perfect shot'), walked around and down by the river, talked and just had a really good time. It was so good. And we lived happily ever --in the start of hopefully a good friendship.

Anyways, I am freezing so I should go find a way to warm up. Have a great rest of your evening!

~Just a Girl

Wise Words...Telling Truths.

From Calvin and Hobbs and Dr. Seuss

[I love quotes, any quotes and any notes. They are great and put me in a better mood quite often. I came across most of these last night, a few I have written down in my journal over that past few years. But Most of them are quite true. Especially for me, or just a good thing to think about]


1. Calvin: Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one

2.Calvin: I think night time is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.

3.Calvin: If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

4. Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.

5.I meant what I said and I said what I meant. 

6. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. 

7. Why fit in when you were born to stand out.

8. Today I shall behave as if this is hte day I will be remembered.

9. Wil you succeed? Yes you will indeed! Ninty-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed


My most favorite truth...

10. Calvin: Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.



~Just a Girl

Well...

So Christmas has begun, its been nice to see my family for a bit. However I am realizing these days that I want a place to seriously call home. I want my own place, not right now but soon. I want a place that I can call home, where I have a job, great friends-that aren't moving in the near future. I guess I almost want to say I want to grow up 2.5 years from now. I would be finished school, would love to be married, on my way to maybe owning a house, be a certified RN. Thats where I wouldlove to be right now. However as we all know I am not. Which means I must make the best of it, which from my opinion seems to be hard these days.
But that's what is on my mind tongiht.

Have a good night.

~Just a Girl

Day 55- Fattygayed.

So I was thinking today-shocker right? First my mom was asking me about my fatigue and how I was coping with it. I was saying that how during exams that God must've given me the extra energy for exam period. I was able to study late, and focus and actually pass all my classes with no lower than a 'B'. She then promptly replied to that comment with, "Well you had a lot of people praying for you." It made me realize that I haven't thanked all of you for your prayers and thoughts for me. I truly do appreciate it. I have really appreciated those who have been for me in prayer and thoughts as well as those who are close to me. My close friends-those who have been there for me to cry with, laugh and talk with. I honestly don't know what I would have done with out those around me. Thank you, from the depths of my heart.

Two other stories for you before I go to bed;

First.
So my grand parents gave me a newsletter that they were sending out to the family. So I then shared it with my family and my brother read it up. They then started talking about me;  and this is what my brother read out loud..."she is doing well with her school but is struggling with fattygay." "Hang on buddy... fattygay, really?" I didn't know I was fattygayed. It took him a good 30 seconds to figure out the real word, we all just chose to laugh at him instead of help. It was pretty funny-oh and if you didn't figure out his 'french' language he was trying to say 'fatigued'.

Second.
I totally forgot to take Tylenol when I took my injection today. So right now of course I feel like I have the flu and a killer headache. I have a feeling tonight won't be the greatest sleep. I already feel chilled and soon to be super hot. Yuck. But hey at least I'm not in school right now.

Have a great night guys. (However really, most of you should be asleep-It's the middle of the week!)

~Just a Girl

Change.

So I used to keep a journal, I would write in it every day and then my best friend would get a kick out of reading them. They would usually talk about the latest boy I was crushing on (in like gr. 6) or I would rant about basketball, maybe how great it was or not so great because my team lost  a lot of games. However for the past few years I have ceased journaling, but I think I may pick it up again. However this one log seems to fit my last while.. I thought I would share it. I started it about 800 days ago and has been tweaked and updated according to what was going on in life but here it is...

Change.
Don't you love sometimes how fast things change?
From great to horrible-horrible to great.
One word.
One moment in time.
Change is inevitable.
It's frustrating. Annoying. Irritating.

Change.
The best thing ever. Amazing.
There is nothing like it.
How come, how can things change so fast?
It doesn't seem fair sometimes,
but doesn't it always turn to good?
I don't get it. Hate it. Love it. Live it.    

Change.
I know I can't make up my mind.
But sometimes it hurts way too much.
I don't want things to change.
Why can't somethings stay the same.
The good things?

What do you do?
It doesn't seem rational sometimes.
It doesn't seem fair sometimes.
How do you cope?
"They say times heals everything
...But I'm still waiting"

So what is it about change that I don't accept.
The fact I don't want to change,
what happened was so good. Or was it just me?
I don't know.
I say I will get over it but really I don't.
I say I'll survive but really? It doesn't seem like it.
It just hurts so much deep down.
Do I confront it? Or...
Leave it and keep lying to myself.

Change for the better? I'd say so. I want so.
Good things can come from it.
From something that I hate.
Change.
The hard. The good. The bad.
I guess I can't decide what I want.
Change is inevitable.
So I'll have to like, love, live it.
Change.
It's change that keeps us going,
from good to great.
Pushing on, pushing forward.
Wether we like it. Or not.

Goodnight.

~Just a Girl

Passed.

I just thought you all should know I passed all my classes this semester. A goal I wasn't very sure I would be able to accomplish. All of them.

Have a good night

-Just a Girl

Day 49-Done.

Yes I am done. First semester. However I am still on pins and needles about my last final. Yes I only needed 33/110 to pass.. but still that final felt awful! But I will do my best not to worry. I am really hoping its alright.

On to the real post...

Oh goodness... today I feel like reminiscing, about this last semester. Can I say crazy? To be completely honest this very well may have been the hardest 4.5 months of my life. Huh, that sounds strange. However I cannot think of a time in my life that has been more of a challenge.  I know of challenging things that have happened around me. When my little brother was diagnosed with cancer, my job last year, when I thought that being a nurse seemed to ridiculous and absolutely terrifying. But I have had a challenging semester. My first midterm I failed-at first. I figured I was done, this was a reason for me to find a different career, quit school, I didn't know what to do. I then found out that I did pass, my prof changed two of the questions which brought my mark up and I did pass. Then my next midterm I got 80%- That put me in a better mood. However then by the rest of the semester my marks slowly declined. I got tired-scratch that, I became exhausted! As that happened my marks slowly got worse and worse, but I still passed them.

This semester had ups and downs, joys and complete frustration. However it has been good. I have grown in myself. Realized things that I didn't know, how I preform under intense anxiety. (I have never been anxious about anything, especially school. Until this year) I learned how to cope with exhaustion almost every moment of the day. It's been strange, but good. I have also grown in my relationship with God, another challenge that I will accept and keep challenging as I go on.

For the most part things have been good. Life seems easy some days, but every day I am realizing there is a challenge. I just have to figure out how to conquer it. This semester was hard, left me in tears many days wether the people around me knew it or not, this was a semester I do not wish on anyone. But I made it through and will do my utmost best to keep doing it...And next semester will be no different.

~Just a Girl

Day 44-Somethings Make Me Think

Some things make me think and thankful. So all for the past few weeks, oh wait hang on, since my first midterm I have been studying. But today was no different. I woke up at 7:30, dropped some stuff off for my mom and when to the pool for 2 hours. I ran, worked out for half an hour and then went swimming for 40 minutes. It felt good.

Then I studied for at least 4 hours... but one of the things I was studying today was Pathophysiology. My friend and I were reviewing all the the body systems. I was going through the older ones and she was doing some of the newer stuff (smarter strategy... because that is the stuff that I don't know but that is really beside the point) She was doing the neurologic system. She was going through all of the diseases that could happen to the brain and neurologic system. Geepers, if you don't know about some of them they are awful! Some of happen within like hours and leave you almost completely paralyzed. Seriously? Others make your brain swell and you cannot function, speak, walk, talk. I don't understand how some of these diseases can happen so fast, so quick and out of nowhere.

Now think about it...Well for me anyways, I will think about my life. Dang! it is good. I can walk, talk, see -most of the time, I can feel in my hand and the numbness is gone in my upper body, I am able to live. Maybe a little slower and more tired than most of the people around me but I am alive. I am thankful. I enjoy my life. I am happy. But I also am frustrated, I get tired easily, I did not expect to have MS. I did not hope for it. But I can be thankful for it. I do fully believe that this is something that will benefit me in the long run. Maybe it will help me to become more empathetic when I come across someone who has MS in my nursing career. Maybe it will be a journey that does end. Maybe I will be able to go through one whole day without thinking about the fact I have MS. I dunno how thankful I sound for this...but I have found joy in looking for things to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for MS. What are you thankful for? (Share if you like in the comments or at least just think abut it)

Have a good night.

~Just a Girl

Day 39- New Challenge?

I thought my vision was getting better.

To be honest I did think my vision was getting better. However it turns out I was just getting in shape. Funny right? Yeah well it kind of is. When I started swimming in September my vision would become all strange, but over time it seemed to get better. I wasn't noticing it as much when I swam and now I was able to swim harder and longer, with nothing wrong. Then I played volleyball last night, I had a feeling it wouldn't be alright and I was right. I was good for about the first 10 points and then I strained to be able to see that darn ball. It came down to the point where I just hoped the other team would win the second set so we wouldn't have to play three. Of course I wasn't going to throw the set, but I did think about it. (I am not one to just submit to losing, not if I have anything to say about it)

This was discouraging, frustrating to know that playing sports now has a whole new element. Maybe this is a new challenge, for me to not be self-conscious and find something that will keep my body cool, my cooling necklace, maybe a cooling vest. I don't know, we will see what happens. I plan on starting to get into shape again. (Last nights other realization...feels like my muscles have atrophied due to not using them, like at all these past few months) So hopefully I will find something that works and helps me see... I mean I guess I could just use treadmills and tie myself onto a leash so it doesn't matter if I can see or not. (Common I'm kidding-this is me joking) But I will see what I can do... any ideas?

Thanks.

~Just a Girl