Oh man, I dislike this.

One thing I dislike about drugs is the potential side affects.
One thing I dislike about this time of year is the possibility of getting the flu.

At this point I'm not sure which one I dislike more because I really don't know if I have the flu or my injections of Rebif/placebo, is actually a drug. The UBC MS clinic did tell me that I should take some ibuprofen and acetaminophen before I take my injections and that should lessen any side affects I may get. I have been doing that but I still am waking up all night hot, cold, chilled, achey, skin hurts to touch or have blankets on, dehydrated, dizzy, sore. Trust me its not a bundle of joy.
This also frustrates me more because this week I have a midterm, group presentation and a paper due and right now I feel like going back to bed and sleeping all night.

You know whats weird? Most days I still cannot comprehend that I have a disease. (even writing that statement sound so strange) At my last treatment day I was sitting in the chair for about 4 hours, and got up to go to the washroom, on my way out I looked in the mirror and stood behind the door for about 10 seconds and just looked at myself. It was still so hard to believe that it was me standing in front of that mirror. It just didn't seem right, its not what I pictured for my life. I looked at the IV pole, ran my eyes down the line to the pump then to my hand where the IV was in my hand. Something just didn't feel right about it. It just wasn't me. I then came our and my mom looked at me as I sat down in my chair and said "Wow, that brings back memories of your little brother, it's so hard to believe that we are back here again." It's strange, what life brings to you. Some are good, some are bad, some things are easy and some hard. You really never know. But I would say, with the hard things take them head on, don't wait around for something to change, face it, 'count it all joy'. I'm not saying it will be easy to do so, I promise- because its not.
This disease takes a lot out of me on a day to day basis, my energy, my health, my focus. I also have good days, which is nice but there are also days where I am smacked in the face with it again. It can just be the smallest comment by someone, making a joke, talking about school-marks etc. I feel like in those moments I am thrown back in to that chair and I remember... "Oh yeah, I have a disease- Multiple Sclerosis."

~Just a Girl