I stayed in bed most of Saturday, felt pretty nauseous in the evening, and then watched previews for about an hour. Ha, it might sound lame, but my cousins, aunt, uncle and I quite enjoyed ourselves. I also realized why my bother won't eat roll kuchen (best supper ever!!--It's a Mennonite thing.. only some of you will know how great this meal really is) anymore. It used to be his favorite until he ate it when he was on prednisone and chemo. I made the mistake of making my favorite form of potatoes YUCK... roasted potatoes, makes me feel quite ill just thinking about them even now. So i will stop now.
Sunday was a little better...oh I almost forgot the best part. (yes I was safe, I just had to be aware of what was going on) But I decided to take my one oral medication- Gabapentin before I left for church, I am pretty sure it didn't full kick in until I got to church. I have never taken drugs (--illicit drugs that is, I think this last year I have taken more drugs this past 6 months than I have collectively in my whole life but that is not the point I wanted to make) to get me high, but if I were compare any situation to being high it would have been Sunday morning. It was a weird haze that lingered, I noted my mouth dropped open for much too long, lost train of thought, pretty sure it took way to long to find clothes that morning, I couldn't stand in church for the worship without holding on to the chair infront of me, so I just sat down. (It is ok if you chuckle out loud that this point--I thought it was kind of funny) So far I have decided that I should take that drug only at night, it might be safer and less humiliating for me if I just sleep through those side effects.
Anyways I just remembered that I have to take my injection tonight. Which reminds me that I am working on getting up to the full dose, not just half. The last 3 injections have been a little more than half and I haven't gotten sick. Yes, that is good news. I also thought maybe I will show you what I do get to poke myself with three times a week. I know it's not huge but its something...A year ago I for sure did not think I would be able to inject myself once, let alone three times a week.
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Here are my wonderful needles... hope they don't bother you too much. If you are ever around and I have to take an injection, I will even let you give it to me. :)
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But here I am... (getting all sentimental) doing things that I never thought I could do. If someone said to me a year ago that I would have numbness in my right hand permanently wouldn't be able to play sports because I couldn't see, inject myself 3 times a week, live with intense fatigue I would've laughed and wondered why they would even suggest that--"I only had labrynthitis"- right? But things have changed, I have changed. I was talking to a friend today about how you change so much, especially right after high school. I was saying how so much of me has changed physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually...more than I ever would have thought. I have done my best to accept those changes, which I guess I had an option to not. But where would I be if I hadn't accepted them, well stuck with all of these things and a really crappy attitude.
Genius right? I think so. Not really.. I'm just tired and feeling sappy.
Anyways, have a great night/sleep... because its late.
One thing I would love to ask from you guys if you are thinking of me in prayer is:
-Energy; I am so fried and the semester is long from being over. I have a midterm, paper, and group paper/presentation due within the next 7 days, along with clinical and all other classes. So I would love some energy... and for those sick, awful, terrible drugs to do their stinking job! and help me. :)
That is all. Thanks!
~Just a Girl
1 comment:
Don't accept that MS will be the rest of your life. God did not make MS and God did not give you MS. It is His will that you be healed. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is here, and he demonstrated that while he walked on the earth and healed those around him. However, not everyone is healed every time we pray and ask because the Kingdom of God is not fully manifested; it will be fully manifested when Jesus returns and redeems that which is lost.
Even though the Kingdom has not fully come, we are to look at our circumstances and acknowledge them, as Abram acknowledged the fact that he and Sarah were old and could not have kids. However, Abram trusted what God had said (that he would have many descendants), though it did not align with his reality, and he HOPED. When we put our HOPE in what God has said in His word and what he has spoken to His children, we gain faith. And God is a faithful God in whom we can put our trust.
I am lifting you up to God in prayer every time He brings you to my mind. I am praying for, hoping for, and believing for your total healing, and total restoration of perfect health. I do not believe that you will have MS for the rest of your life. Love you lots.
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