Sometimes, life is hard.

You know sometimes when you are just sitting there thinking about how the last few days or even weeks have been pretty good? Well I would have to say that 'things' have been pretty good lately. I had an awesome Thanksgiving. I got to make most of it with a really great friend and eat with her family. The next day I had a great supper prepared by my cousin and then ate with my aunt and uncle and some of their friends. It was great! I even got to take pictures of stars that night too. (I got my two dream shots, check it out here.) I hung out with friends till two in the morning. Man, things were looking great!

That was however until things hit me, again and again and again! My MS, my test marks, my school, my drug trail, my relationship with God, boyfriend, family... oh the list goes on. But sometimes life, to put it bluntly, sucks! Its hard, I don't like it. It makes me want to give up and try harder all in one breath. To be honest I can't help but think, is there where I am supposed to be, where God wants me to be. Is it all really supposed to hurt this much? Why does it hurt? I almost wish I was more angry than hurt. Anger I can throw things, run until I collapse (or in my case because of my MS until I can't see). But hurt, hurt makes me want to fall to the ground and never get up. Hurt wrecks me from the inside out. I dislike this feeling and I don't want it to be here.

However I don't want this to be a place for me to complain and whine about my life so I will continue with hopefully less of that.
One thing that has helped me, especially today and for about the last week was a song I have on a mix CD my sister made and I have in my car. I feel like I drive a lot these days, to school, pool and where ever else I go. The one song that I find my self going back to is #8. The song talks about how God is faithful, never once have we ever walked alone, never once did He leave us on our own. Never Once by Matt Redman. Consistently this song brings me to tears, even now as I write.
Have I mentioned life is hard? Well people it is. It is also hard to understand that God will NEVER leave us on our own. I know I have seen it in my life or families life again and again, but it is so hard to keep that in the front of my mind.

If you are reading this and would be willing to pray for me I would be honored and love it dearly.  Here are a few things that you could bring to God:
1. Healing, I desire to be healed from this MS and do know that God has the power to do so.
2. Focus, I need focus in school. When it comes to writing tests, midterms, papers, class. I truly want to do well in my nursing and graduate in 3 years
3. Positive attitude. Keep looking forward and not be discouraged with things in my life.

Thank you muchly for reading and supporting me in the way you do. Wether you know me personally or not. I hope that one day this blog will touch someone else and encourage them.

~Just a Girl