Count it all JOY!

James 2:1 "Count it all joy my brothers when you're faced with trials of many kinds, becuase you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I love this verse and I think I can say, yes it applies to many things in life but especially this one. I am not sure why but I can't say that I have really processed how MS does affect my life. Maybe after a couple dozen self injections I will realize. But I haven't really sat down and thought about what this means. Maybe I did when I first heard those words, "Maybe it could be Multiple Sclerosis." It was after one of my shifts at work and my boss mentioned that to me after I told her about all of my symptoms. So I guess I will admit that I did spend most of the 25 minute drive home crying and thinking that within 5 years I would be in a wheel chair or something. It also hit me a few other times, when more symptoms came I was discouraged, cried and was angry. I wasn't angry at God, but I was frustrated that I wasn't normal. I felt damaged, not good enough, irritated. I wanted things to feel normal again, I wanted to be able to see when I exercised. However I have never asked God why me? I haven't been mad at God, just the situation.

It took a while, but I eventually remembered the verse, "Count it all joy." (This also reminded me of an Oddsey tape when I was little, maybe you remember which one from your childhood but anyways...) I knew there was nothing I could do about my MS, it wasn't anything I had done, I wasn't being punished (for NEVER cleaning me room or something), but there wasn't anything I could do about it. So I decided to embrace it. Why not right? Is it easy? Well not really, but I'm gonna take it on. I had/have decided that I will continue to live and love life. I will work hard in school and eventually work. I will do my best not to complain and grumble. I want to count it all joy.

I feel like this past year or so has been crazy. Last August (over a year ago) my family moved to Abbotsford. This meant that I had to stay here because my nursing courses don't transfer. So I lived with my aunt and uncle, which is great by the way. I then found out I failed a first year course, Microbiology. Gah, I was frustrated and super upset. But then I thought about it, this meant that I was pushed back a year and also meant that I had time to finish the absurd amount of electives. So I took a semester and finished my electives and retook my Microbi course. After that I moved down to Abbotsford with my family from January 2012 to August 2012. In retrospect it was amazing that I was in Abbotsford last semester because when I had these symptoms I was able to get into see a Neurologist, get an MRI, and other tests right away. It was a total God thing. He lined/lines things up so well. I'm sure in the next coming months or weeks I will be able to tell you more stories.
So to sum this post up I just want to encourage you, when you are faced with things you don't think you can handle look to God. Be confident in Him. He totally has your best interest in mind and won't forget about you. I want to continue to 'count it all joy'. I think that it will get more challenging but we shall see right?

~Just a Girl