Ah, man, encouraging words come in the most awesome of places. I have had a bit of a crazy emotional week (a little while ago). But I think it ending well, each day is becoming better and better. But I was telling a friend about it this afternoon and her words were just to pray about it and give it to God. Which was a reminder that I needed. I am learning to love the little reminders that yeah, I need prayer, I need God and I can't do life on my own. I need His guidance and hold to His promises in life, this isn't it--there is so much better for us, that God desires so much more for us than what we can even imagine. It really comes down to just that, I need to remind myself continually that there is more, there is best for me in so many areas of my life here on earth, but also when I die.
I was also talking to this girl and thinking about my summer plans and my trips and working at camp this summer, she was saying how it will be so good for me. It made me think about how crazy this year has been for me, seriously its been nuts! I mean, you guys have been reading my posts and have taken this journey with me.
Here I will give you some of the things I have learned since September:
1. I had to learn to lower my expectations for myself when it came to school. This one took me a while to learn. For the longest time I couldn't figure out in my head whether or not it was me, who was too lazy to study and thats why I couldn't get good enough marks. Or it was because I was too tired to be able to study because of my MS. It took months, and months for me to realize it didn't matter why I was too tired all the time, just that I was and that was all that mattered. It was then I had to learn how to deal with my fatigue. Too bad it took until my last exam week to come up with a compromise to my fatigue. I realized that I couldn't study in the evening for my first exam and I still had classes the day before, so I went to bed at 7:00 and then woke up at 5:30 and studied from 6-7:30am. It was great. I was still able to focus and study. I used that approach for the last few of my exams and it turned out quite well.
2. I have really learned I need my girlfriends. I love friends, period. But the few girls I have really gotten to know over the course of this year has been amazing. I have deepened good relationships and they have become great! I love the time spent with them, their encouraging words, thoughts and prayers I wouldn't trade anything for.
3. I have learned how to adjust. Adjust to living with fatigue, with out some of my long time friends, to school, exercise. This year has been a year of adjusting... maybe tweaking how I study or the hours of sleep I get throughout the night. Any and everyone has to adjust, some have to learn these lessons earlier in life. I was thinking about an eleven year old boy lately, he went through a hell of a time with cancer. But wow, I am floored every time I think about the amount of adjusting he had to go through. Three and a half years of treatment, the first seven months of it being the worst. But now, looking at him and thinking about what he went through brings me to tears.
4. I have learned that life is good, no, life is great! I am loving the constant, daily reminder of what life is about. Some of my favourite parts of my day is just driving on my own. Being in my car putting on some great music and thinking. It is also about loving people, loving God, seeing the greatness in creation. I have been working in the hospital a lot lately, I have seen so many sick people and watched them suffer in pain, I have seen some family members come and see their mothers on Mothers Day, some stayed for hours, some stayed for 10 minutes. To me it makes me see some peoples priorities and what they value. It makes me so thankful for my family and the values we have. That we value each others lives, to see the way my mom interacts with her dad is encouraging especially on the days he isn't doing well. But to love people is so important, no matter what.
I know there are so many other things I have learned and taken to heart lately, but at this point I can't seem to put them into words, also since it has taken almost a week to write this I will post.
I am so greatly looking forward to this summer and will tell you all about my summer plans soon. After my trip I am going to be working at Echo Lake Bible Camp with one of my best friends from high school. We were talking last night on Skype and I was getting so excited. It will be a great summer, away from Prince George, not in school or in the hospital. I will be hanging out with new people, kids, and doing what I love a ton! Wich I did not get to do enough of this last year--photography. I have 4 more days of clinical and year 2 of nursing then I am home free and recovering fully from it. Ah... just stoked!
Well I hope you guys are having a wonderful Monday afternoon.
~Just a Girl
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